It’s in the 90s, it’s muggy, and there is a grumpy bug in the air that is affecting us all. The kids are restless, tired (going to bed at midnight isn’t helping) and unable to handle much at all.

Ella is incredibly detailed-oriented in her desires. This is a wonderful trait for a scientist, engineer, surgeon, or chef. For a 6 year old it can be rough. For lunch, she wanted her peach dipped in wine cut a particular way that none of us could interpret. This caused anger, mean words, jealousy, and eventually no peach was consumed. She’d rather give up that incredible taste experience than have to compromise. One thing led to another and eventually she dangerously slammed her leg into a glass door and nearly broke it. I was furious – I cancelled are impending lesson that she was actually looking forward too. She wouldn’t have been able to work anyway.

I have rarely ever done anything every day/week/month with discipline. Here in Sicily, I have noticed the woman in the home behind ours do exactly the same thing every day for years. She closes all her shades at a certain time in the morning, she sets the table on the porch for lunch and dinner at the same time, waters and moves the plants from here to there at the same time, sweeps the floor, argues with her husband, then her daughter, then her grandson at the same time every evening. They always end the night with cards – sometimes just her and her husband, sometimes with the daughter, sometimes several play, but always cards. It’s amazing. You can set your clock to it. Whenever we are here she is there. It seems she never leaves that apartment. It’s an amazing discipline that almost approaches some sort of enlightenment. Sometimes I wish I could be happy with myself, in this moment, doing what needs to be done to get through to the next day, nothing more or less, with no desires or complaints, or wishes. Is the enlightened mother one that smiles blankly into space but is always there, always patient, always giving, always cooking? Is short-term thinking actually the most sustainable in the long-term?

Wait… the heat is frying my brain. One of the problems with Sicily is that too many folks get through the day focused on the housework, the food and the fashion. Corruption, bad planning and lack of attention is allowed to overpower the society. Wanting it one’s own way is the stuff of life! Having an opinion, having desires and ideas, suggesting improvements, dissatisfaction with the status quo – YES! Go Ella! – you can have the peach the way you want it. But you just can’t slam the window to bits to get it.

Ella is learning to discipline her emotions and her attention. From Ella, I am learning how to adjust to new information. Instead of our daily practice, we went for a boat ride.

Distractions/Tangents:
Mike Robbins on Being Flexible