Today we played the sticker board game where we throw the dice, move a number of spots and read a 3-letter word. There are about 35 stickers on the board. Ella made the board during our first lesson by placing stickers of her choice following a curved line across a piece of paper that I drew. She didn’t want to work today and tried everything to get it done faster. One way to do this is to cheat. Our reading mentor and guide, the person that laid out our summer plans for us, says cheating is ok. Kids do that. Ella needs to feel accomplished, powerful and self-directed. She needs “constant, visible success.” Ok, so I let her win most of the time, and sometimes she gets to re-throw the dice to get to a spot that provides a short-cut to the end of the game (Ella’s idea). But it bothers me. It’s really hard for me to let her do this. As a person always concerned with fairness, justice and equity, it’s hard not to lecture her every time on the virtues of playing fair. But I’ve been letting it go and considering how happy it makes Ella to win I can see the results. And somehow it’s helping her handle losing better. It’s interesting in the same way that focusing on just ‘a’ words (cat, bat, sat, map, dad, etc) is helping Ella learn all her consonants really well so that she can move to other vowels more easily.
Ella is also concerned with equity and fairness – perhaps this is an obsession of all 6 year olds and siblings. She is constantly watching closely for how many gazes are directed at her sister’s blue eyes or if so and so get’s a present, why not her… However, yesterday she really did get hit with a shower of unfairness.
Two days ago, Signor Frenna brought Ella her fourth summer bunny. She loves the Frenna’s. They are farmers and wine makers, they all hold day jobs (most farmers here do), they work HARD, and they always smile. The bunny was quickly named Bella and Ella was a master in patiently waiting for the bunny to come out of its box slowly without scaring it. She prepared the food and made a little picture to go on the box. She was in love. Since last year’s too small baby bunny disappeared unexpectedly (we left her in the yard as cat food) we promised this year to keep the bunny locked in a room during the night. Alas, I couldn’t get that thing back in the box and thought one night would be fine. It’s bigger than last year’s bunny and still learning about its new vacation home.
This morning, Ella woke quickly and ran down to search for Bella, prepare her breakfast, and attempt a cuddle. No bunny. We searched behind every bush in the enclosed garden. NO bunny. Turns out Bella ended up in a dead heap next door. We have no idea what happened - maybe a cat, maybe it ate something. Ella thinks it escaped – that same fate as Zayda last year. She was crushed. She has a special ability to connect with animals and I believe she actually needs to be near them. All morning the tears came and the refrain, “it’s not fair, its not fair.”
How do I explain to her the unfairness that follows the North African beach seller who rests on the pavement outside our wall every mid-day to get out of the sun after spending hours walking up and down the beach to sell plastic trinkets for nothing. Or the unfairness that the hardworking, pretty, young housecleaner experiences when she has to go the church to pick up cheese and milk give-aways. Or the unfairness that this region’s economic desperation will lead it to being the only Italian community that has allowed a liquefied gas plant to be built along the once beautiful beach. Yet another environmental disaster to follow eventually. It’s not fair.
Distractions/Tangents:
- Bloomberg news about Porto Empedocle’s plans to build liquified gas plant at the port.
- Liquefied_natural_gas - Safety_and_accidents
