We are standing on the balcony of our room at an Agriturismo Hotel in Castelbuono, Sicily, watching black smoke rise from a fire in the not too distant sky. Olive, orange, pomegranate and pear trees surround me. Our bellies are full to the brim with amazing foods.  We started the day with a swim in the pool.  After the swim she picked an orange and a few figs and ate them right off the tree. She put farm fresh honey on her breakfast toast. Now, Ella is leading a new fan, a 3 year old from Palermo name Anthony, around the place like the pied piper. In Sicily, Ella’s life is more than half full.

We come to Sicily every summer to spend at least a month with my husband’s aging parents. It’s a wonderful experience for our daughters as they learn about tolerance, flexibility, where food comes from, hard work, taking it easy, swimming, the list goes on. Ella loves Sicily. She eats well here, she is physically active, and she makes friends easily. Our 14 year old neighbor next-door LOVES Ella. The other day Marie Chiara said, “Ella is so beautiful. I remember waking last summer to Ella singing a beautiful song. She is so fun.” Marie Chiara likes to practice her English with Ella.

Ella doesn’t like to practice her English. School starts in two weeks. While nibbling on a fried fiori di zucca at one of our long meals at the hotel, Ella said, “I like it here much better than school.” She, of course, doesn’t understand the difference between “working to live” and “living to work.” She is between two completely contradictory cultures – and life in school is especially hard for her.  Her parents live in America and therefore so does she. We believe that choice will pay off in the long-run. Ella can’t yet see that life here for many is half-empty. There are only so many peaches you can eat before lack of opportunity, money, education, and good government has its affect.

This afternoon was probably our last lesson here in Sicily before we leave. It’s packing and last minute visits till we board the airplane.  I’ve been trying to make things more game-like and less pressured. Plus in the last week I’ve had to contend with her little sister participating. That would be her 3.5 year old sister that writes her name, knows almost all the letters, and LOVES the idea of learning how to read – not helpful for Ella at all. Today we tried to play the board game with Papa and Gaia. Everyone was tired. It’s about 100 degrees here right now and hours of that wear us all down to an irritable nib. It didn’t go well. She was moaning and groaning and not paying attention. It was painful. So we stopped it. Ella and sister jumped on the bed for 30 minutes and then finally slept.  But here is the silver lining – the half-full part – for the game I recommended that Ella do the 3 letter ‘a’ words instead of the pile of sight words that we’ve recently been working on. It would be easier and she could show papa how much she has learned. She didn’t want to – “those are too easy,” she said, “ I know them all.”  So, this is amazing. Something has happened in her brain. There is change.

But she has the right to say no to a life of high-pressure, no fun, half-empty education. We must support her in that choice. We also have the responsibility of providing stimulating, creative and effective learning opportunities that help her appreciate the value of hard work. She will pursue what interests her – and that is a lot.  In Daniel Pennac’s Rights of the Reader, he begins with #1 - the reader has the right not to read. She will come to reading in her own time in her own way.

This almost daily ritual has also changed me. I have learned to stop the struggle earlier, to let her go, to let her jump on the bed instead. I must not pressure her. I must allow her to be who she is. I must allow her to struggle, to fail, to try, to feel frustrated, to lose control, to fly, to experience her life on her terms. After all, she is half-American and half-Sicilian. Both halves are full, complex, wonderful, and uncharted.

Distractions/Tangents:

• Agriturismo Bergi Hotel in Castelbuono, Sicily
• Studs Turkel’s book “Working” - Wikipedia description
• Daniel Pennac’s Rights Of The Reader Poster
• Sight word charts